Fangirls
by hakuse-kun
Summary: Naruto stumbles upon a shop dedicated soley to him, and even more unexpectedly, girls who shop from it! NarutoXAwholelotofgirls, Warning: AU
1. Chapter 1

Fangirls

Chapter One

Naruto walked happily down the street, easily ignoring the glares sent his way. He had just returned from his first C-class mission. It was made an even more joyous event for the fact that he had received A-class pay! Since he had such a large sum of money, he had decided to celebrate by spending some of it. And so, he found himself wandering around the shopping district, searching for something of interest.

A flash of orange caught his attention. He walked into a shop, not even bothering to look at the display window or name. His eyes widened as he examined his surroundings. Everything was orange! From the walls to the floor and even the carpeting, it was all his favorite color! His jaw dropped open when he saw an entire portion of the store stocked full with every flavor of ramen he had ever tasted. He turned around to continue his observations and slammed into a giant plushy… of himself?!

"Oh my god…" Naruto took several steps backwards and tripped over his own feet, falling into a pile of much smaller Naruto plushies. His eyes darted from left to right, taking in what he had previously failed to notice. All around him were plushies, magazines, and posters! All of himself! Hell, there were even racks filled with copies of his orange and blue jumpsuit!

"Wait… this isn't right." Naruto got up and walked over to the rack. After he examined them closely, he realized something of great importance.

All of the jumpsuits were designed for women.

"Hehehe!" Naruto quickly swiveled around toward the sound of the feminine giggle. There was no one within his field of vision, so he assumed that the girl was on the opposite side of the shop. Deciding he wanted to ask the person some questions, he walked through a couple of isles towards the sound. Then his face contorted into and expression of horror when he saw something that made his blood run cold.

There, on a rack straight across from him, sat bras. But the female underwear was not the thing that fazed him so. For the display consisted of a mannequin designed after his sexy jutsu form, wearing one of the bras! He stumbled backwards for the second time that day, and once again landed on something soft. There was only one problem.

The something emitted a familiar sounding frightened squeak. One that was commonly attributed to one Hyuuga Hinata.

"N-N-Naruto-kun!" He quickly rolled off of the poor girl, apologizing profusely, but quietly. Naruto wasn't stupid, and he had realized that if Hinata was here, other girls were sure to be as well. Then, when he looked upward from his bow, he saw something that would be firmly etched into his memory for years to come. There lay the heavily blushing girl, wearing one of the orange jumpsuits he had seen in the front of the store. She stared at the boy for a few more seconds before she passed out.

Naruto, now greatly concerned for Hinata's well being, hurriedly made his way further in the store, hoping to find the clerk and ask to use the phone in order to call an ambulance. He turned the final corner, and then froze for the third time that day. His eyes nearly popped out of his head as he took in the sight of Yamanaka Ino, Tenten, Sabaku no Temari, Ayame, and even Mitarashi Anko, all wearing identical orange jumpsuits!

AN: I know that this chapter was really short, but I wrote it at 2 in the morning. I just wanted to get it up before I forgot about it. Tell me if you want me to rewrite the chapter! I'll try and make the next one five times this length to make up for this!


	2. Chapter 2

Fangirls

Chapter 2

AN: I know that this story is before the exam arc, for those who are wondering. No, Naruto does not yet know who Temari is.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, the show would be rated too high for children.

Reacting quickly, Naruto darted back around the corner before the girls noticed him. He slumped against the edge of a shelf trying his best to stay quiet.

'Is this some kind of an occult or something?! They're all wearing my jumpsuits! And all of those plushies! …I wonder what Hinata-chan's doing here. She doesn't seem to be the type to join an occult. Come to think of it, I shouldn't have just left her back there.' Naruto stood back up and walked quietly back to Hinata, who was still lying on the floor. He looked at her more closely than before, almost examining her. The jumpsuits were definitely modeled after the ones he wore when in his sexy jutsu form, hugging her curves just as well as it hugged "Naruko's." It accentuated her hair better that most people would think, really. Naruto himself had even thought it would clash at first, but it seemed more like a happy contrast. He moved closer, putting himself in a compromising position. Most men would be blushing heavily in his situation, but Naruto was immune. That's right, immune, and not oblivious.

In all actuality, Naruto knew very well of the intimate actions performed between the sexes, but he paid no mind to it. He wasn't gay either; he merely chose to ignore such aspects of life until he was older. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for Hinata, as Naruto found out when she cracked her eyes open.

"Kyaaa!" came the deafening squeal when she realized the position they were in, and it only got louder when she realized it was **Naruto** who was sharing it with her. Said boy immediately jumped off of her… or tried to. Instead of calling him a pervert and scrambling away as he expected, the girl latched onto him with a death grip!

"Naruto-kun! It's you!" the girl released him, allowing him to regain his footing. Hinata began gleefully bouncing up and down, a wide smile on her face. This surprised Naruto, who had expected her to blush and poke her fingers together like she normally would.

"Um, Hinata, are you ok? You're acting differently than usual." Hinata's smile grew wider.

"Naruto-kun, a few of my friends helped me get over my shyness while you were away!" Naruto stared at her for a few seconds.

"Yes, that explains that, but why is there a store filled with… um… me?" Naruto immediately regretted asking the question when a mischievous glint flashed through the girls lavender eyes.

"Maybe if I have you talk to my friends, they could help you out a little, Naruto-kun?" she asked innocently.

"Well, um, I really should be going! Teuchi-san is waiting at the ramen stand, and if I don't get there soon he'll have cooked up a ton of ramen for me that will go to waste!" Naruto began to slowly back his way towards the entrance.

"Great! Me and my friends will come too!" Naruto put up a weak protest, but Hinata wouldn't have any of it. When she dragged Naruto over to the other girls, he was greeted with another round of squeals before they all left the shop. He noticed the wide eyed stares that the Konoha males gave his group as they walked down the street, and couldn't blame them. The girls had refused to change out of the jumpsuits. When he saw a particularly strange stare coming from one of the women, he turned his head to stare back at her. Then he noticed it.

There, above the door of the orange colored shop, a sign read: "Official home of the one and only Naruto Fanclub."


	3. Chapter 3

Fangirls

Chapter 3

Naruto slowly turned around, a foxy grin on his face. Ino smirked beside him.

"I take it you saw the sign?" Her voice was sweet to his ears. In reply, he grinned even wider and nodded his head. Hinata giggled from her position in front of him.

"I take it that you don't mind, Naruto-kun?" He looked at her and winked.

"Of course not, Hinata-chan!" Hinata emitted a loud squeal of delight and latched onto his arm. Not to be outdone, Ino grabbed onto his other arm. This caused TenTen to catch on and wrap her arms around his neck from behind, and Temari snuggled into his chest from the front. Needless to say, this drove their traveling progress to a grinding halt, even more so when Anko and Ayame started pouting because there wasn't any room left for them to cuddle him. Naruto noticed that several men were glaring at him with jealous snarls on their faces and women staring with heavy blushes at the public display of affection.

"Girls, not that this isn't a very welcome gesture, but we'll never get to have lunch if we keep standing here… that and people are staring." He looked down at the girl leaning against his chest, and realized with a start that he didn't know her name, nor had he ever seen her before in his life. Deciding to talk to her at a time where it would be less likely to create an awkward situation, he gave both Hinata and Ino a squeeze before they resumed walking.

Kiba sat beside Shino at Ichakaru's, bragging about the fact that he had finally convinced a girl to go out with him the night before.

"See, Shino! I told you I was the Konoha Ladies Man!" Shino peered over Kiba's shoulder.

"Kiba, I believe you are very wrong. It seems that our friend Naruto has won over our female peers." Hearing this, and immediately disbelieving it, Kiba turned around. He then saw several kunoichi, all wearing orange jumpsuits, latched onto Naruto from different positions. As Shino had expected, his jaw hit the floor.

"Shino… please, I beg of you, tell me that isn't Hinata!" Kiba pleaded. Unfortunately, Shino did not feel like fulfilling such an illogical request and therefore told the poor boy otherwise. For you see, Kiba had been trying to win over the Hyuuga girl ever since she had been placed on his team, and to see that she had fallen for another after being subjected to his constant and obvious affection nearly broke his spirit. So, he then proceeded to head back to the Inuzuka compound, sulking.

Naruto and his newly discovered fanclub sat down shortly afterwards, taking up the majority of space in the small stand. Teuchi nearly jumped for joy when he realized how much money he was about to make, but froze when he saw Ayame wearing one of the jumpsuits. He also happened to be one of the few people in Konoha that knew what wearing one of them symbolized, and sobered up as he thought of the problems this could cause. After several minutes of chatter confessions, Naruto was ecstatic. His entire life had been devoted to being acknowledged and recognized, and now he had a fanclub! It was if Kami decided that he had to make up for his previous lack of help to Naruto! When Ino leaned over and kissed the boy on a whiskered cheek, he blushed for the first time that he could remember. He realized that if these girls were in his fanclub, it meant that they were dedicated to him, and that meant that, in a way, they were committed to him. This was more than he could say for anyone else he knew, even old man Sandaime. So, he decided, if they were committed to him, he was committed to them.

Ino was surprised when he leaned over to her and kissed her deeply on the lips.


	4. Chapter 4

Fangirls

Chapter 4

"So, when did the fanclub start?" Naruto asked before pushing away another empty ramen bowl. Both Hinata and Ayame blushed and giggled.

"Apparently," Ino spoke up, "it has functioned for several years now. You should have seen their reaction when I barged into Hinata's room to see both Ayame and her wearing these orange jumpsuits and surrounded by Naruto plushies." At this, Naruto turned toward Ayame with a wide-eyed look. Hinata had already confessed to her long-time crush of him, but to think that the pretty ramen stand girl had been one of the first in the club? Ayame gave a giggle before nodding slightly to confirm it.

"Yeah, I'd had a crush on you for a while, Naruto-kun.When I started to talk to myself about you while Hina-chan was here, we got into an argument over it and then decided that neither of us would give you up and needed to share. Thus, the Naruto fanclub was born."

"That was about… four years ago, wasn't it Ayame-chan?" Hinata asked with a thoughtful look. Ayame nodded.

"And ever since, every girl to join the club has had to swear to share Naruto-kun!" Temari smiled.

"Did you know that that could have a double meaning, Naruto-kun?" Anko asked with a perverse smirk on her face. Naruto blushed heavily and nodded slowly. Then, without any warning, Ino started laughing. She stopped when everyone gave her weird looks. She smiled sheepishly.

"Does everyone remember when that one boy wanted to join? What was his name? Sai?" Naruto had an expression of unsurpassed horror on his face while all of the girls giggled.

"Yeah, he was so disappointed when we told him that Naru-kun didn't swing that way!" Hinata answered. Naruto wiped sweat off of his brow, relieved that the girls had rejected the boy. He hugged Hinata tightly, yelling his thanks for it the entire time. When he finally let go, the girl had a dreamy look on her face. When she snapped out of it she emitted a fangirlish scream and started bouncing again.

"N-Naruto? Is that you?" Naruto turned around and grinned widely.

"Hiya, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto and a few of the girls chorused. The dumbfounded man stared at Naruto for a while, then laughed.

"Okay, Naruto. Unhenge the bunshin. You got me." Now it was Naruto's turn to be confused. 'Ruka thought it was a prank? Ino glared, Hinata growled, and Anko waltzed right up to him.

"Idiot! We're not bunshin!" Iruka sputtered at the new revelation.

"Then what are you?!" He yelled. The girls huddled together for a few seconds before pulling a big spiral covered sign out of nowhere… or from inbetween Anko's breasts, Iruka wasn't sure.

"We're his fanclub!" the girls yelled back. Iruka twitched for a few seconds before glowering.

"Naruto, you better still be a virgin, or I'm gonna kick your ass for breaking our promise!" The girls looked at Naruto for a few seconds.

"What promise?" Naruto turned to the girls, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head and blushing.

"A long time ago, Iruka got reaaaally drunk and made me promise that he would loose his virginity before I lost mine. I thought that he didn't remember 'cause he didn't talk about it the next day. I didn't know what virginity was at the time anyway." Anko punched Iruka down.

"Damnit, you bastard, now I have to wait before I can seduce my Naru-kun!"


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Hey guys! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long! My computer broke, school went to Hell, and I had a ton of chess tournaments to prepare for. I just now got a new computer, and I have yet to find out how to transfer my e-mail address, so bear with me. If you guys want to tell me something, you'll have to use the review function until I can get the bloody thing to work. Sorry. BTW, I'm still looking for a beta.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Naruto leaned over the poor man, his face contorting into a slight frown.

"Um. Anko, I think you killed him." He said, scrutinizing the apparent corpse. Ankos waved it off dismissively.

"He'll be fine. I just knocked him out." She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Now where was that brothel again?"

Ino interjected, "Anko! You can't just drop him off at a… a whorehouse! Do you have any idea how that would hurt his good reputation?! For Kami's sake woman, think of the STDs!"

Naruto nodded his head, not wishing for his favorite teacher to become ill. Anko conceded to their point sullenly.

"…You know, I think that Kakashi guy has a thing for Iruka-sensei." Hinata added with a slight smirk. Ino's eyes widened slightly before she erupted into a fit of giggles while Anko bobbed her head with a grin. Naruto scowled, disapproving of homosexuality, but he didn't disagree. Ayame blinked confusedly, unfamiliar with the sensei, as did Temari. The latter of the two girls decided to voice the fact.

"Um, hey, who is Kakashi?" Naruto turned to her, his sneer turning into a toothy grin as he did so.

"Kakashi's my jounin sensei! He's perverted, chronically late, and about as straight as a coiled up water hose!" Anko burst out laughing at the humorous simile, and the other girls had to supress a few snickers themselves.

"Well, why don't we get them together? Then we can-" Anko was cut off by Naruto.

"We can't just set Iruka and Kakashi up as a couple! Relationships just don't happen like that." Anko wasn't one to give up so easily, however.

"Sure we can! We just lock them in a closet and leave the rest to Kakashi. Besides, look at our relationship, Naru-kun." Anko leaned in close to Naruto, purposefully giving him a great view of her cleavage. Needless to say, he had a hard time arguing after that.

"Well, I'm a bit tired out. I think it's time to call it a night." Ayame managed to get out before yawning loudly.

"Aw, but Ayame-chan, the night is still young!" Anko pouted ineffectively.

"I don't know, Anko, Otou-san will be angry if I don't get home soon." Hinata chimed in.

"I'm feeling kinda beat as well, Anko-chan. I think we should all head home." Naruto agreed.

"Oh, alright! But we all have to go out to a nightclub sometime soon to make up for it!" Anko gave in. They each paid for their food and left until Naruto was the only one left at the small ramen stand. He stretched his arms above his head before satnding up slowly.

"I'll see ya tomorrow, Teuchi-san!" he told the chef before turning around and walking in the general direction of his house.

"Yeah, sure thing Naruto. And you better take good care of my little girl, you hear!" Teuchi called out.

"Of course! I'll make her the happiest girl alive!" Naruto responded with a grin. Teuchi began to wipe the counter with a cloth, a soft smile on his face.

"I know you will, kid. I know you will."

Naruto could see the top of his apartment over the buildings in front of him. He smiled, recounting the day's events as he walked. He stopped abruptly, though, when he felt several chakra signatures appear on the rooftops around him.

"Hey, hey! I know you're there. Come out and face me!" Several ANBU members dropped down in front of him He noted the fox masks each of them wore.

"Naruto-san, Commander Yuugao-sama requests your presence immediately! Please come with us." the apparent leader told him. He scrutinized the ANBU members closely, unsure of their intentions. Finally, he reluctantly nodded his head and followed the ANBU closely as they took to the rooftops. Several minutes later, they arrived at a large compound. From what he could see, it was about half the size of the Hyuuga clan complex and painted completely black. He didn't doubt for a second that it was far larger than it looked, however.

"I'm guessing that this placed extends underground as well, right?" The ANBU next to him merely nodded their head in response. He followed them through the double doors that were nearly indistinguishable from the walls due to both the darkness of the night and the lack of doorknobs. They moved quickly through a maze of halls, and Naruto tried his best to memorize the route should he need to escape. He nearly slammed into the back of the ninja in front of him when they stopped in front of another barely visible door. One of the black-ops soldiers opened the door and gestured for him to go inside. He slipped into the room, keeping his guard up for whatever may happen. The ANBU followed him in, the last one shutting the door behind them.

"Yuugoa-Shishou, we have arrived." the leader announced from their position beside him.

"Ah, good. I trust your mission was a success?" Yuugao asked.

"Of course, Shishou." Yuugao turned to face them, her fox mask grinning mischievously. She was an imposing figure, her thin but muscled frame covered from head to toe in black fabric. Her top was a solid black turtle-neck over which rested a black utility vest. A shuriken pouch hung from her waist. She wore black skin-tight pants that were tucked into her black boots. A kunai holster was tied to her left leg with a black wrapping of some kind. The most notable feature was her black fox mask witth red-rimmed eyes and whiskers.

"Very good. You are dismissed. Except for you, Sai." Naruto's eyes widened. Sai? Surely it couldn't be the same Sai that Hinata had told him about? Really, there must be hundreds of Sais living in Fire Country! He stood still as all but Yuugao and the leader, newly identified as Sai, left the room. He fidgeted nervously from the uncomfortable closeness of Sai standing behind him. Luckily, neither of the other two people in the room seemed to notice.

"Naruto-san, do you know why I have had you brought here?" Yuugao asked smoothly as she walked around to the front of her desk, her black gloved fingers trailing along the edge of the piece of furniture.

"Um, no, Yuugao-sama." Naruto answered, inching slowly forward away from Sai's invading presence, much to the ANBU's displeasure.

"You are here, Uzumaki Naruto, because I have taken a particular interest in you. You see, I believe you to be ANBU material. I believe, Naruto-san, that you have something I need." Yuugao had closed the distance between them as she spoke, and was now standing less than a yard away from him, her hands folded behind her back. Naruto barely noticed, however, his interest piqued.

"Really? You think I'm good enough to be an ANBU?" he asked excitedly. Yuugao smiled behind her mask.

"I'm certain, Naruto. Of course, for me to formally accept you as a member of my squad, you must pass an initiation test."

"What kind of initiation test?" Naruto asked, eager to be recognized as one of the elite forces of Konoha. He didn't notice that Sai was once again standing only inches behind him.

"Oh it's rather simple, really. It's a simple test of seduction." Naruto's eyes widened. Yuugao slipped her mask to the side of her head, revealing her soft features to the dim light. Deep hazel eyes stared into his own.

"Yes, that's right. Seduction…" she leaned in close, and in his awe, Naruto continued to gaze into her eyes as she did so.

"All you have to do to beceome an ANBU, Naruto…" she was even closer than before, and he vaguely felt Sai's hand on his shoulder, "is kiss me." Their lips met.

Naruto awoke, his alarm clock blaring in his ears. Her sat up sharply, breathing heavily. He took a second to calm down before slipping his clothes on routinely. As he walked out of his apartment, still in a slight daze, he rubbed his arm where an unnoticed ANBU apprenticeship tattoo rested.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Hello again, guys! I'll be updating pretty often from now and on. Summer break is coming up soon as well, meaning much longer chapters. Oh, and thanks for the reviews, guys! You really make my day.

Music: Blurry-Puddle of Mudd

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, the world would be a better place…maybe…

Naruto plopped down onto the stool with a long yawn. He sleepily ordered seven bowls of miso ramen before dropping his head onto the counter.

"You okay, Naruto? I don't think I've ever seen you this tired," Teuchi asked, concerned for his best customer.

"I'm fine, Teuchi-san. Just a restless sleep," Naruto answered as he picked his head back up. The image of a black fox mask flashed through his mind and he blushed a little. Teuchi narrowed his eyes.

"Tch. Restless sleep, I'm sure…" the ramen chef set the first bowl down in front of the sleepy child, who dug in immediately. The sensation of the warm noodles sliding down his throat instantly removed the haze that was clouding his mind. Naruto continued to slurp his ramen as he thought of the night he thought was a dream.

'I really shouldn't feel so embarrassed! All she did was kiss me…' he trailed off, silently contemplation, until the sound of someone stepping into the shop caught his attention. He paid the person no mind, and continued to eat.

"Naruto-san…" He froze, his eyes darting to the plain black fox mask on the person's face. Sai hadn't done anything in the dream he now knew was real, besides watch. He still didn't feel quite comfortable when that voice cut through the air. Teuchi looked back at the scene as well, wondering what the ANBU wanted with his blonde meal ticket.

"Ah, yes, Sai-san?" Naruto asked, suppressing a nervous tick.

"I need to speak with you," he cut a look at Teuchi, "privately." Naruto sighed.

"Sorry, ojii-san. I fear that I'll have to rain-check on those last two bowls of ramen."

"Yeah, uh, sure thing, Naruto." the chef looked at him with worry etched into his features. Sai walked back out of the shop, and Naruto dropped down payment for the ramen as he stood up. Naruto followed Sai through the streets for a while before they took to the rooftops. The blond recognized here they were heading from the night before. He wasn't sure how to feel about the whole thing, but he really liked the thought of being an ANBU. And damn, was Yuugao hot! He would never betray his fan club, but what could one more girl hurt? He snapped out of his thoughts as they dropped down in front of the ANBU compound. He once again followed Sai through the halls, but they arrived at a different destination. Sai opened a door, and gestured for Naruto to step through.

The room was huge, and scrolls of all kinds filled gigantic shelves on the walls. A single ANBU, who he guessed was Yuugao, stood in the center. He slowly made his way towards her, dimly noting the spiral pattern on the floor as Sai followed behind him.

"Ah, there you are, Naruto-kun!" Yuugao said cheerfully, a sharp contrast from her lustful voice the night before. "It's time to begin your training as an ANBU-to-be!"

"Great," Naruto announced in an equally as cheerful voice, his foxy grin splitting his face, "What's up first?" Yuugao tilted her head slightly in response.

"I think it would be best to work on your worst attributes first, then improve your strengths after they have reached an acceptable level." Naruto furrowed his brow.

"So, we're going to increase my chakra control?" Yuugao shook her head.

"Actually, we're going to start with your taijutsu. It's horrendous! Technically, your clones are making up for it, but as an ANBU, that won't cut it. So!" Yuugao walked over to the near wall and gestured for him to follow, "Choose a style. These all suit you very well; we had them organized here for the specific purpose of training you. It's a simple matter of picking one you think you'll prefer." Naruto scrutinized the scrolls, but they all seemed the same. He looked at each of the titles individually, hoping one would catch his interest. This produced no results, and he was about to give up and pick one at random when the scroll in the very bottom-left corner wobbled on its perch and then fell to the floor. He bent down and picked it up, Yuugao looking over his shoulder.

"That's the Enduring Fist. It's a style that focuses on blocking and dodging until you see an opening, then delivering an extreme blow with a chakra enhanced fist. Wind users can create a blade of wind to enhance the technique." Yuugao explained. Naruto glanced back at her.

"Blade of wind?" Naruto asked, curious.

"Ah, that's something you'll be learning about later on in your training. Put it out of your mind for now." Naruto frowned, not wanting to ignore something that had caught his interest so, but decided that Yuugao probably knew what was best. He pumped his fist into the air enthusiastically.

"Alright! I choose this one!" Yuugao giggled at the sight.

"Unfortunately, I don't think anyone in Konoha specializes in that style, so you're just going to have to learn from the scrolls. Though, with Kage Bunshin, that shouldn't be too great a problem." Naruto looked at her with his head cocked to the side.

"What do you mean, 'with Kage Bunshin?'" He asked, confused.

"Ano, you didn't know? When a Kage Bunshin is dispelled, you gain all of its experiences and memories. That makes them perfect for training." Naruto nodded, understanding her point. Yuugao clapped her hands together loudly.

"Alright, make fifty Kage Bunshin and get to practicing those kata!" Naruto gave her a humorous salute before doing as ordered.

Four hours later and fifty kata perfected, Naruto was leaning against a bookshelf panting as his mind tried to assimilate all of the knowledge gained through the Kage Bunshin. When he could think clearly again, he went through the kata without making a single mistake. Yuugao clapped him on the back, nearly knocking him over.

"I didn't expect you to finish so soon, even with the Bunshin! As a reward for exceeding my expectations, you have the rest of the day off to do as you please. Well, on one condition, anyway. Naruto turned to her.

"Condition?" He was greatly surprised when she locked lips with him, her tongue caressing his own. She moaned loudly into mouth, making a shiver go up his spine. She pulled back for breath several seconds later, a wide smile on her lips.

"Okay, you can go now!" She told him happily. He walked out in a daze, forgetting to pick up his jacket. Sai was waiting by the door, and he escorted him back to the entrance. Naruto left hurriedly, wishing to escape the boy's strange aura. He jumped up to the top of the nearest building, then tried to decide where to go. After a few minutes contemplation, he decided to go visit Sasuke at the hospital. The blue-clad boy had been the one to receive the worst injuries on the Wave mission, and had to stay in the hospital for an undetermined amount of time.

He dropped down in front of the hospital entrance several minutes later. He expected the receptionist to glare at him as usual, but was surprised to see a wide-eyed stare from the girl. Deciding not to look a gift horse in the mouth, he hurried into the halls before she could get over whatever had shocked her so. As he made his way to Sasuke's room, the incident repeated itself. Naruto couldn't figure out what was causing it. He finally stepped into the Uchiha's room, closing the door behind him to block another strange stare from a nurse. He sat down in a chair beside the unconscious Sasuke's bed. He thought for a while on what exactly he wanted to say.

"…You know, Teme, you didn't have to step in the way of those needles. They weren't meant to kill me, I'm sure of that. Even if they were, my advanced healing would have allowed me to turn out fine…" He trailed off, scratching at the back of his neck.

"When you were still conscious, you told me that you hated me." Naruto's fist clenched a little. "If you hated me so much, why did you save me, huh? Why did you sacrifice yourself for me?" His brow furrowed, the blond let out a great sigh.

"Heh. You said your body moved on its own. We both know that's bullshit." Naruto relaxed himself again, trying to find the answers to his own questions.

"Do you remember back when we were still in the academy? I wanted to be your friend at first. I thought that since you had lost your entire family to the massacre, we were the same. But I was so worried that it would turn out the same as everything else. I was so worried that you would call me a monster and spit in my face…" Naruto started when he heard something clatter to the ground behind him. He whirled around, examining the intruder. There stood Kakashi, his visible eye wider than what he knew could be physically possible. Maybe it was trying to make up for the sharingan eye not being able to express his shock? Because then Naruto realized why everyone had been staring at him…

His ANBU tattoo was clearly visible on his shoulder.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

"Naruto, what's that?" Kakashi quickly regained his composure, though his visible eye continued to twitch slightly, as if trying to resume its previous state against the man's will.

"What's what, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto knew that playing dumb wouldn't fool his teacher in the slightest, but tried for time anyway.

"The tattoo, Naruto." Naruto almost laughed when Kakashi's twitch doubled in vigor.

"Tattoo? Oh, um, you mean this thing?" Naruto's face split into a huge grin, "Well, I met this really nice old woman while I was looking for a shop that would sell me some new clothes at decent prices. I think she had a few screws loose, though. See, while I was negotiating with a shop owner, she started yelling that she would do free tattoos from across the street. When my negotiations failed, I crossed the street so that I could try another shop, and she pulled me aside. She asked if I would like a free tattoo, and sat me down in her chair before I could decline. I didn't have the heart to say no when she struck up a conversation and told me what a handsome young man I was. She went on and on about how she used to be in ANBU as she worked, and told me stories of her missions and about the friends she gained as a shinobi. I thanked her when she was done, and I told her how I thought the tattoo was really cool. I really do think it is." Kakashi blinked a few times, as if surprised again, and his twitch disappeared instantaneously. His eye crinkled into the familiar inverted U shape that meant he was smiling, and his shoulders sagged slightly, indicating his relief.

"Naruto, you really should be more careful. She could have been another hateful villager, using poisoned ink-" Kakashi was cut off when the window opened and a familiar cat-masked woman popped in.

"Naruto-kun, you forgot your jacket at the HQ! Oh, hi Dog-kun. It's good to see you again." Naruto palmed his face. Why, oh, why did his luck fluctuate so?

"Yuugao-san, what are you-" Kakashi began, only to be cut off again, this time by Naruto.

"Eh heh, arigatou Yuugao-chan! Thanks again for letting me stay at your place while my apartment's repaired!" The orange-clad boy flashed his eyes from Yuugao to Kakashi, desperately trying to get his message across.

"Yuugao…chan?" Kakashi muttered quietly, his eye twitching madly again.

"Now, now, Kakashi. Only Naruto-kun gets to call me that!" The neko ANBU expertly seized her chance to change the subject, having understood that Naruto didn't want Kakashi to know about his apprenticeship yet. Kakashi, now completely freaked out, yelped a panicked farewell before disappearing in a poof of smoke. Yuugao giggled and pulled her mask off.

"So, Naruto-kun, why don't you want your dear sensei to know of your new training schedule?" She tapped on the windowsill as she spoke, drawing Naruto's attention to her.

"Well, I'm not entirely sure. You see, when he first saw the tattoo, he had this really weird reaction. I almost thought he was ill." Naruto frowned, a little worried about the new development.

"Kakashi-san had many bad experiences in ANBU, I'm afraid. When he saw the tattoo, it probably brought back bad memories." Yuugao sighed and slouched a little.

"Hey, hey! Don't get all sad on me Yuugao-chan! Here, I'll cheer you up." Naruto jumped forward, and did the one thing Yuugao wasn't expecting. He kissed her full on the lips, and while he didn't use his tongue, Yuugao didn't mind using hers. She immediately took the dominant position in the intimate act, pushing the blond boy onto a nearby hospital bed.

Her tongue gently roamed his mouth, paying special attention to his elongated canines. She ran her hands down his chest, enjoying the feel of it through his thin black muscle shirt that was normally hidden under the loud orange jacket. Naruto moaned into her mouth, and a pink blush spread across his cheeks when he realized how submissive he was being. He didn't resist, though, perfectly content with her continued ministrations.

He slowly placed his hands on her waist and rubbed up and down her sides, massaging the toned muscles he could feel just underneath her skin. Yuugao broke for air, her hot breath tickling at his face as she gasped. She grabbed his wrists and placed his hand on her chest, causing the boy to blush heavily. He squeezed tentatively, rousing a moan from the older woman's throat. She grinded herself into his groin, frowning at the resistance she felt.

She reached for his pants, but stopped when she heard a cough. Naruto jerked his head to see the source of the noise. He had completely forgotten about Sasuke! Yuugao jumped off if him faster than he could see, reappearing in his vision with her mask in place. Naruto quickly tugged his jacket on, both disguising his flustered appearance and hiding his ANBU tattoo. He walked over to the raven-haired boy's bed, grinning despite himself when Sasuke opened his eyes.

"Hey, glad to see you're awake, asshole." Naruto reverted back to their traditional name-calling, knowing that it would make Sasuke more comfortable.

"Hn, look who's talking. I'm the one who saved your pin-cushion ass." Sasuke smirked back, but it was easy to tell he was happy they had both made it home. After the exchange, Naruto called for a nurse and Yuugao slipped out unnoticed. Sakura came in moments afterward, having just arrived at the hospital as Sasuke woke up. The blond had just smiled and left them alone.

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Naruto only managed to avoid being bowled over because of Yuugao's reaction training.(Read: throwing large, heavy objects at him at speeds he couldn't believe.) Anko scowled, annoyed at having missed her target. Hinata appeared shortly afterward, as Anko had apparently stolen her right from a training session with her father. Hinata was grateful.

"Naruto-kun, you weren't supposed to dodge!" The trench coat wearing kunoichi pouted.

"There was a fruit stand, Anko-chan. I didn't want to upset the vendor, nor did I particularly want to change the color of my jumpsuit." The woman sighed, nodding. Hinata glomped him immediately after, getting a loud, "Hey, he wouldn't let me!" from Anko and a glare from the fruit vendor. Naruto let Anko choose the place they were going to, and regretted his decision the second her eyes lit up. Anko wanted to drag Kakashi and Iruka to a gay bar.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

"Naruto." Naruto started; Kakashi really needed to stop sneaking up on him.

"Er, yea, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto took his hand off of his kunai holster as he turned around.

" I just wanted to tell you I had fun tonight, we should do it more often. I'll see you tomorrow." As Kakashi poofed himself out of sight, Naruto sweat dropped. Iruka soon came to say goodbye as well, but lectured Naruto on the difference between sexualities before leaving. Anko was put out, annoyed that Iruka and Kakashi hadn't hit it off. In fact, the silver-haired man had hit on her much more than he had Iruka.

Naruto left Anko, who had decided to stay for a while and frighten the other patrons, and made his way to ANBU HQ for his nightly training session. He took to the roofs, startling a few civilians with his sudden jump. He grinned a weak apology over his shoulder, then hopped to the next roof. He arrived at the HQ after a few moments, and exchanged greetings with the entrance guard. The sound of his footfalls echoed through the hall, as he had yet to learn to move with the grace the other ANBU managed casually. Yuugao had already helped him improve greatly, however, and his steps were much softer than before. She said that if he kept up his current rate of progress, he would be able to move silently within the next month.

He opened the door to his training room, having memorized its location to avoid any embarrassing encounters, and was surprised to find Sai waiting instead of Yuugao.

"Ah, Naruto-san, it is good to see you. Yuugao-sempai is waiting in another room that I have been instructed to guide you to." Sai promptly opened a knob-less door that Naruto had never noticed, and beckoned him out into another hall. After several seemingly random turns, Sai brought him into a dark room, scarcely lit with a torch on either wall, where Yuugao was standing with what appeared to be a set of clothes.

"Naruto-kun, I have decided that your jumpsuit is simply unfit for a ninja like yourself, much less a ninja of the caliber you are so quickly becoming. Under my tutelage, you have improved exponentially in a short time. You have already begun on the more advanced concepts of the Enduring fist, as well as finished basic kenjutsu training. Your stealth is on par with high-level chuunin, and your speed is on the level of a newbie jounin. In mere days, you have improved to a level it would have taken most years to accomplish. This, of course, can be credited to the Kage-Bunshin training method, which you have taken to unprecedented levels utilizing your high chakra capacity.

It is under these circumstances that I have decided to confirm your status as a prentice ANBU, and present you with your uniform as well as your prentice mask. You will receive your armor as well as your customized mask when you have proved yourself worthy to become one of Konoha's truly elite. However, remember that you are still far off from that level. This is far from the first case where a genin became a prentice, and I expect you not to become overconfident. Always remember your limits, and learn from every experience. As a prentice, you will be taken on trial missions, where you will be expected to learn as you fight. These missions will be far above the level regular genin take, ranging from B all the way to SS. These missions are never to be exposed to the public, and will take precedence over any other responsibility, even events such as the chuunin exam. Naruto Uzumaki, do you accept these conditions?"

He stood up straighter, slowly raised his hand in a salute, and smiled softly.

"Of course I do, Taichou." She smiled and gently handed over the clothing. Naruto rubbed the fabric in between his thumb and forefinger; his eyes shined against the candlelight, moistening up. Yuugao led him out of the room, Sai following them silently. They entered back into the training room, and Naruto continued into the familiar space of the changing room as they stayed behind. He pulled of his old jumpsuit, feeling just a tinge of regret. The outfit had been given to him by a sympathetic stall owner. The man had died shortly after, the circumstances unknown. Naruto had strong suspicions, and had always worn the outfit in honor of the man's unwilling sacrifice. He slipped the black fabric of the ANBU attire on, the material caressing his skin lightly.

'A new look for a new life.' He smiled and slipped on the mask.

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He opened the door and walked in, the shelves of scrolls a welcome greeting. Sai had left, and Yuugao stood alone as she searched through the shelves. She beckoned him over, and he moved to her side, curious as to what she was looking for.

"Now that you've officially become an apprentice, you're going to need to know when you're to go on a mission with us. I'm going to teach you a basic alarm seal, which will become warm when your presence is needed." She plucked a scroll from the shelf and tossed it to him. "The seal you need is the first one on the list. The strokes are simple, all you need to really know are the hand seals to activate it. Just copy the seal onto a place of your choice," she winked, "and activate it." Naruto blushed behind his mask, and she smirked as if she knew. He sat down and opened the scroll. He nicked his thumb and wrote the seal on his forearm in blood. When Yuugao laughed, he looked up inquisitively as he started the hand seals.

"It didn't have to be blood you know." She held up a calligraphy brush. Naruto shrugged as he finished the seals, and the kanji on his arm glowed blue for a second. Yuugao tapped it and it glowed again, and Naruto felt a warm sensation spread up his arm.

"There, it's done. There will be no training tonight, because we have a mission tomorrow. However, we are going to see the Hokage. He's gonna be pissed…" He looked up in alarm and she waved her hands placatingly, telling him it wouldn't be a problem. He shook his head and laughed lightly as he stood up. They walked quickly out into the hallway and made their way out of the building. A few rooftops later, Yuugao led him up the side of the tower. He laughed silently when he realized this was why the old man was always complaining about how no one used doors. They popped into the office, startling old Sarutobi, who hid a book in his drawer almost too fast for Naruto to see. He quirked a hidden eyebrow, thinking it had looked familiar. The sound of Yuugao's voice stopped him from remembering where he had seen it before, though.

"Hokage-sama." She bowed. Naruto did the same.

"Neko-san," the man scratched his chin thoughtfully, "I don't remember signing a document authorizing a new recruit." Yuugao scratched the back of her head.

"That's, uh, because you didn't, sir." The Hokage's stare was hard, and Naruto flinched even though it wasn't directed at him. Then, it felt like a weight lifted from his shoulders, and the old man smiled kindly.

"Don't worry, Yuugao, I already knew you had a new recruit. I'm most curious as to his identity, though." Yuugao's relieved sigh was audible, and she replied quickly.

"He's my new boyfriend, sir." Naruto turned as red as a cherry, then, and was thankful his mask hid it. After a few seconds, Sarutobi made a gesture with his hand, obviously wishing for her to continue. Yuugao seemed lost for words, so Naruto did the first thing that came to mind. He took off his mask.

"Heya, Jiji! I'm ANBU now!" Yuugao palmed her face, the hollow knocking sound from her mask making the effect even funnier. Sarutobi's jaw dropped onto his desk, his pipe clattering to his desk. Silence reigned for several minutes, and Naruto began to fidget. Finally, the old man began to chuckle quietly. The sound quickly grew to full blown laughter, and Naruto threw in his own strangled guffaw, unsure of what was going on.

"Oh, Naruto, this has to be your best one yet. I don't know how exactly you enlisted Yuugao's help to pull it off, but you got me good. The boyfriend thing was a nice touch too." Naruto blinked. The Jiji thought it was a prank? Yuugao gave a slight cough.

"Hokage-Sama, he's not joking." Naruto pulled up his sleeve, exposing the tattoo that had caused him so much trouble. People still looked at him weird. Weirder than usual, anyway. Sarutobi stared blankly for a few more seconds before sighing.

"Naruto, you do know what this means, right? The path you have chosen is a dangerous one. You will face situations like you've never dreamed, and fight opponents far above your level. You could die, Naruto." His voice was grave. Naruto gained a determined glint in his eyes, and began to speak.

"I know, Jiji. I chose this path exactly because of what it entails. How can I be Hokage if I can't do this? I need this, Jiji. I need to prove myself, not only to the village, but to myself. I need to be strong enough to protect my precious people. To protect everyone." The two stared each other down, and it was Sarutobi who slumped in defeat.

"Okay, Naruto. Okay."

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To my beta: I didn't recieve anything, so I went ahead and posted this. Hopefully we can get DocX working soon.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Naruto dropped down to the street, startling a few pedestrians as he hit the ground. He crossed the open space quickly and walked through the front door of The Shop, the light tinkling of a bell sounding his arrival. He immediately noticed the different color scheme and the new outfits on display. Blinking a few times, he decided that he didn't want to know how the girls already knew about his change in clothing. When he reached the back of the small store, his jaw dropped.

Hinata stood behind the counter, dressed in an almost exact copy of his new outfit, minus the ANBU armor. As she turned around to look at him with an expression of absolute glee, a single thought snaked its way through Naruto's mind.

'Hinata-chan's sooo hot!' The turtleneck shirt hugged her torso, but didn't strain to fit it. Black fabric slid lightly over her skin as she moved, seemingly skin tight but not stretchy in the slightest. She slipped out from behind the counter, allowing him to see that instead of the cargo pants that covered his own legs, she wore loose bell-bottom black jeans that fell just low enough on her waist to show the smallest portion of her hips. A thin black belt held them in place. He realized just how little justice his old jumpsuit had done her, and felt immensely content with his, and, by proxy, her change of look.

"Naruto-kun, I absolutely adore your new clothes! They fit me so well, don't you think?" She bent forward slightly and clasped her hands together, creating an adorable pose that had Naruto floundering for words.

"Wow… They look great on you, Hinata-chan!" Hinata giggled happily at Naruto's praise, glomping onto him hard enough that he nearly lost his balance.

"Woah! So, um… Where is everyone, Hinata-chan? I'm leaving for a mission later today, and I wanted to let you all know." Immediately, Hinata descended into a sulky pout, a small storm cloud hanging sorrowfully above her head.

"Naruto-kun's leaving again?" Her voice had taken on a meek, sad quality to it, as if she was trying her best to imitate a kicked puppy. Naruto immediately began to panic, unsure as to how he should cheer her up. Just as her lower lip began to tremble and her eyes were tearing up, Naruto was hit with a stroke of brilliance.

"Mmmph!" Hinata let out a surprised squeak, but it was muffled by Naruto's lips, which were pressed to her own. She felt a comforting warmth fill her body, reassurances and promises of safety conveyed all through the one small, intimate act. She knew, then, that her Naruto-kun would come back, safe and sound, with another one of his grand stories to tell. She melted against him, reveling in the aura of his confidence and affection, deepening the kiss.

Yuugao stood on the opposite side of the street with a clear view of the scene through the open front door of The Shop. She held her hand over her chest, an incredible ache making itself known in her heart. How could she have let this happen? When had this young woman stolen her Naruto's heart? Where had she gone wrong?

For several moments, incredible sorrow filled her very being, but slowly, surely, righteous anger and strong determination cut through the haze. If this girl, or any other girl, wanted her Naruto, they'd have to fight her for him. And slowly, a devious and determined smile made its way across her face behind her mask.

She would show this girl exactly why you don't mess with an ANBU captain of Konohagakure. Especially not Yuugao, captain of ANBU Seduction Corps!

Hinata broke from the kiss first, gasping for breath and trying to orient herself after such an experience. Naruto was breathing hard too, and a small blush found its way onto his face. Their eyes connected, and they smiled shyly at each other.

It was at that moment that Yuugao appeared, leaves swirling around her and settling lightly on the ground. It was also at that moment that a rather hyper-looking Anko skipped into The Shop, pausing to stare blankly at the small gathering.

"Naruto-kun!" Anko and Yuugao stated at the same time, earning an amused stare from Anko and an unseen blink from Yuugao.

"Neko-chan?" This time it was Anko and Naruto who synched, making the situation even funnier. Naruto decided that it was time to stop the strange stereo-speaking and cleared his throat.

"Alright! Anko-chan, how do you know Neko-chan?" Anko blushed a little before replying.

"We spent some time together in ANBU. How do you know her?" At this, Naruto sweated a little. Just as he was about to make up some bullshit lie to cover his secret rank, Yuugao answered for him.

"He's an apprentice." Three simple words shocked everyone into silence. Naruto stared at Yuugao, wondering why she had just told something like that so easily. Seeing this, Yuugao gave Naruto a deadpan look through her mask and spoke defeatedly.

"Naruto-kun, this is Anko we're talking to. Do you really think I'd be able to keep it from her?" Naruto calmed down a little when he realized that she was right. He panicked again, however, when Anko grabbed him and started parading him around the shop.

"Naruto's an ANBU! Naruto's an ANBU! Naruto's an ANBU!" The sight of Anko's antics snapped Hinata out of her surprise. She giggled ecstatically to herself when she realized her crush was even cooler than she had previously thought. She couldn't wait to tell the other girls! She stopped and blushed deeply, though, when Anko abruptly turned Naruto around in her arms and kissed him. Yuugao's jaw dropped behinds her mask, anger and apprehension making themselves known in her chest. She glanced over at Hinata, taking in the girl's embarrassed but otherwise unbothered countenance. Realization hit her like a kunai to the face.

"My Naruto-kun has a harem!" Yuugao whispered inaudibly to herself, feeling unsteady. "I'm in a harem," she muttered redundantly, exasperation and disbelief bleeding to the forefront of her emotions. For a while, Yuugao stood in shock, not that anyone could tell; Hinata blushed and giggled to herself, and Anko continued to passionately kiss Naruto. Ayame walked in on this scene, paused to let it sink in, then walked over to Yuugao and nudged her.

"Hello ANBU-san, I'm Ichiraku Ayame. May I ask what you're needing?" the girl asked politely, years as a waitress having honed her manners. The cat-masked ANBU tensed briefly before relaxing and turning to face her. The return question surprised her.

"How many women are in Naruto-kun's harem?" Yuugao asked, curious and too emotional to hide it. Ayame paused for a second, thinking. "Well, there's Hinata-chan, Anko-chan, Ino-chan, Temari-chan, Tenten-chan, and me; that's six," Ayame explained thoughtfully, then asked, "Why did you want to know?" Yuugao stared blankly at the ramen girl from behind her mask, then lied beautifully.

"I'm partially in charge of Naruto-kun's training, and I like to know my students. Part of knowing my students is being involved in their social lives," the cat ANBU told Ayame, keeping a straight face out of habit even though the girl couldn't see it. Ayame nodded and turned to watch as Anko's hands wandered dangerously close to Naruto's belt, and mused aloud that the explanation made sense. Yuugao took abrupt notice of Anko fondling her boyfriend and moved quickly to stop it, mentioning the day's mission.

Unnoticed to all, behind the counter on the other side of the room, a heavily blushing Hinata discreetly deactivated her Byakugan and pulled her hand out of her pants.

"Naruto-kun, we have to leave for our mission soon. I trust you have your equipment packed and ready?" Yuugao asked all in one breath, startling both Naruto and Anko. Naruto took a few deep breaths before grinning and nodding.

"Hai, Neko-chan!" he exclaimed, snapping to attention but not losing his grin. Yuugao nodded and made a hand gesture, signing the word 'retrieve.' Naruto saluted before suddenly disappearing, a few leaves falling to the floor from nowhere. The girls all stood there awkwardly for several seconds before he reappeared. Both Tenten and Hinata gasped audibly, Anko raising an eyebrow while Yuugao offered no visible reaction.

The young ANBU soldier that stood in the middle of the room was indistinguishable from the blond haired boy that had stood in his place a moment before. The clothing was almost identical, but now a hood covered up the brightly colored hair and a blank mask hid his face, his electric blue eyes staring imposingly through the two holes. He stood with a stoic posture that seemed strangely threatening and gave off an aura of danger that wasn't there before. Yuugao smiled with satisfaction behind her mask, happy with her boyfriend's transformation.

When Naruto put on his mask, it was like his demeanor did a flip-flop. The trained shinobi that was normally covered up with a goofy smile came to the forefront, and the boy's power and potential became obvious. Naruto's joking personality and mischievousness manifested themselves as a chilly sense of humor and witty one-liners that would have her breaking out into chuckles. The determination that was usually seen as the ability to keep fighting no matter his physical condition changed into a drive that prevented most hits from landing at all. Curiously, his skill seemed to fluctuate depending on the situation he was in. In some cases when his instructors had lured him into a trap to teach him a lesson or backed him into a corner, he would pull off a maneuver that was far above his current level, causing much exasperation among his trainers. He would never leave behind his title as Konoha's most unpredictable ninja, that much was for sure.

"At ease, Naruto," Yuugao ordered, and Naruto dropped the salute. He crossed his arms and tilted his head curiously.

"Ne, where will we be briefed, Neko-senpai?" the boy asked.

"I feel a little like showing you off, Naruto, so we'll go get a mission from the Hokage tower like you would with your genin team. Believe it or not, ANBU identities are common knowledge for chuunins and above, so we'll be introducing you to some people as well. You don't mind, do you?" Yuugao finished her explanation with that inquiry, and Naruto said he was fine with it. Naruto asked Anko to inform the rest of the fan club of his departure, and they turned to leave. Tenten slapped his ass on the way out.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Alright, guys, I'll give this another try. It's been a long, long time since I've even _thought _about continuing this story. Every time I go over its earlier chapters I cringe at the obvious contradictions and ridiculous nature of it all. Then I read the later ones and catch myself laughing at my own jokes - you have NO idea how awkward that feels - and think, maybe it's not so bad. So, after a great deal of hesitant "Eehhs" and skeptical "Eerrs," I've finally decided to give it another go. In truth, I feel like I should be writing this thing over from the start if I'm going to continue it at all, but I know I don't have anywhere near that kind of patience or willpower. So here's your long-awaited - very, very long-awaited - tenth chapter of Fangirls. I hope you enjoy it.

Oh, one last thing: this story will probably get even funnier now that I feel like poking fun at all the dumb stuff I did in the previous chapters. Be warned, immense amounts of self-depreciating satire ahead.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Naruto, and I'm sure Kishimoto's damn glad of it.

**Fangirls**

**Chapter 10:**

**FTNG**

Halfway to the Hokage tower, Yuugao decided that Naruto either thought she'd already known about his harem or had one _hell _of a poker face. The first possibility was probably the more likely one; Naruto couldn't have the kind of skill to fool an ANBU operative specifically trained to pick up on and take advantage of people's emotions. That, and the fan club was kind of obvious - they had their own damn _store_ - so it was actually weird that she hadn't known from the start.

That brought Yuugao some small comfort. Her Naruto hadn't knowingly betrayed her. It was just a horrible, horrible misunderstanding that she would simply have to correct. It would be easy enough to lure him away from those little kiddies, since most of them didn't have anything close to her figure or experience. Her only real competition would be in Anko; that snake-obsessed, masochistic, fishnet-wearing bitch. Then again, Anko might even scare Naruto away all on her own.

Yuugao grinned confidently under her mask, a skip in her step.

Two feet to her left, Naruto was sweating bullets.

"_Oh, shit! Shit! Shitshitshit!" _Naruto felt like putting his head through a brick wall. How in the hell had he not even thought about what would happen if Yuugao discovered his fan club? Was he some kind of idiot? Had he honestly thought it simply wouldn't happen? Oh, Kami, he was so screwed.

She hadn't said anything about it since she'd just shunshined into The Shop without any warning whatsoever. That, really, was what was so scary. There was no way she couldn't have realized - _Anko had been making out with him five feet from her while Hinata fingered herself behind the counter_- so her silence meant that she was planning something. There was no doubt in Naruto's mind that that something was going to be bad for his health. He'd be lucky to be alive and with his balls intact pending the next few hours.

He was extremely surprised that they reached the tower without incident. The slight tension in his muscles that precluded his desire to flee had faded significantly. It seemed Yuugao intended to be more subtle about her revenge, so there'd be even less he could do about it than before. As they slipped in through one of the open windows, he sighed inaudibly and decided that he might as well stop panicking since there was nothing for it anyway.

Closing his eyes in resignation, he instinctually followed his captain's silent footsteps for a moment - only to stop and nearly jump backward when he felt a shift in the air directly in front of him. Managing to limit his reaction to blinking rapidly, he took in the sight of ice-blue eyes meeting his through the slits of another ANBU mask. Naturally, the owner of said eyes had to be standing so close that her breasts were nearly pressed against his chest. Feeling his cheeks heating slightly, Naruto mentally told himself not to immediately assume another woman decided that she wanted his children. That would just be unrealistic.

"Damnit, Kagura! Don't hit on my boyfriend!" Yuugao yelled, grabbing the blue-haired ANBU by the arm and forcefully dragging her away from Naruto's proximity. Kagura disappeared from Yuugao's grip so quickly that she seemed to have blinked out of existence until Naruto felt her arms draped around him from behind.

"Why not? It's not like he's not already banging six other girls, anyway," came Kagura's tranquil reply, along with the feeling of her head settling on top of his. Wondering why he even bothered, Naruto didn't even try to be exasperated. Fine, whatever. Fuck logic. He really shouldn't have expected anything less. Seeing Yuugoa's clenched fists shaking with repressed rage, Naruto brought his hands up in his favorite sign.

"…!" Kagura blinked as the shadow clone popped, though she didn't fall over from the loss of support like a lesser ninja would have. Naruto walked past Yuugao without a word, doing a passable job of faking indifference to his situation. His taichou stared after him silently for a short moment, before utterly destroying the mood by pulling off her mask and sticking her tongue out at Kagura before smugly following after him.

Naruto kept walking until he and Yuugao were well out of Kagura's listening range, ninja senses taken into account, then turned his gaze to his taichou. After a tense and suspenseful silence, her response cut through the atmosphere like a razor blade.

"…What?"

Naruto faceplanted.

"Um, I was trying really hard to be all mysterious and cool back there, but I really have no idea where I'm going," he muttered, scratching the back of his head. That wasn't what he'd actually been waiting for from her, but if she wasn't going to bring it up, Naruto had years of practice in faked obliviousness. It worked, and he immediately found his face being crushed into Yuugao's breasts while she squealed about how cute he was. Thus was the scene two paperwork-toting chuunin were treated to as they rounded the corner of the hallway.

Izumo dropped his papers all over the floor, his jaw slack with shock. Kotetsu, seeing his partner's reaction, grinned and let his papers fall as well.

"Oops," he muttered, snickering as Izumo's attention gradually turned to the mess at his feet and his expression changed to one of horror as he realized that he'd be the one picking it up.

"Oi! Don't go dropping important paperwork on the floor!" Yuugao reprimanded, finally releasing Naruto, whose head made a comical popping noise as it came away from her chest. Izumo quickly squatted down and began frantically gathering papers. Kotetsu, on the other hand, just rubbed his nose and made his way over to the pair of ANBU.

"So, I don't think I've seen this one around before. Who's the pipsqueak?" Kotetsu asked, using his hand to compare his height to Naruto's.

"Ne, Kotetsu, I'll let this one slide because you didn't recognize me," Naruto spoke for himself, pulling on his mask just enough to expose one ocean-blue eye and three whisker-like scars, "but do remember what happened the last time you called me a pipsqueak."

Kotetsu turned white and took a step back, wary eyes now scanning the smaller ANBU for sudden movements.

"Right, Naruto. I'm sorry, please don't rig my apartment again," he apologized meekly. Yuugao's mask hid an impressed expression. In the background, Izumo's head popped up and papers went flying again.

"Naruto?!" Izumo exclaimed, suddenly in the fox-boy's personal space, "You're ANBU?!" Taking a step back and quietly grumbling about people getting in his face, Naruto took his mask off.

"What do you think?" he asked, crossing his arms. Was it honestly that hard to believe? Izumo paled the same as Kotetsu had. Slowly, the two chuunin partners turned to look at each other.

"We're so fucked, aren't we?" they asked in stereo. Naruto grinned as he slipped his mask back on.

"Oh, definitely," he said. Yuugao giggled.

* * *

After Yuugao and Naruto bid goodbye to the strange pair of chuunin, Yuugao dragged Naruto all over the tower, introducing him to various chuunin. It turned out that he actually knew a great many of them already, since they'd been assisting in his training under their own ANBU aliases. Yuugao eventually explained that the trip to the tower was actually somewhat of a rite of passage where newly trained recruits learned the more mundane identities of some of their instructors before their first real mission. There were others, of course, who wished to remain anonymous for their own reasons, but it wasn't anything personal so much as it was the paranoia that became engrained after so long in the corps. The real surprise came, though, when Yuugao flagged down a particular ANBU out of the ever-bustling crowds of ninja in the lobbies and dragged him into the privacy of a meeting room to introduce him to her boyfriend.

"C'mon, Dolphin, I know you'll be interested in this one," Yuugao whined as the other captain resisted her efforts.

"I could really care less about your sex life, Neko!" Dolphin growled, his feet sliding as he attempted to find traction on the polished wood floor. Nevertheless, Yuugao managed to pull him into the room, likely due to the fact that he was unwilling to damage the floor by sticking to it with chakra whereas Yuugao didn't give a fuck. Finally giving in when she kicked the door shut behind him, Dolphin sighed and turned to observe the young ANBU sitting on the large desk at the front of the room. Naruto idly kicked his legs back and forth and stared back as the older man took in his appearance.

"There's something oddly familiar about you," Dolphin spoke, and Naruto perked at the sound of his voice.

"No way," Naruto breathed. Dolphin squinted behind his mask while Yuugao held in mischievous laughter.

"Iruka-sensei?" Naruto asked, pulling his mask from his face. The dolphin-masked ANBU's back went ramrod straight. After a moment, he removed his mask as well, revealing the familiar scarred visage of Naruto's favorite teacher and father figure.

Iruka wasn't expecting the speed or strength of Naruto's vastly improved tackle-hug. Yuugao finally laughed when the teacher ended up on his ass with an armload of mini-ANBU.

"Why didn't you tell me you were ANBU?!" Naruto asked excitedly, quickly falling into the familiar diatribe of rapid-fire questions and exclamations that Iruka couldn't keep up with on his best days. The teacher tuned it out, instead taking in the ridiculous sight of a beaming, armor-clad Naruto sitting in his lap. Utterly bewildered, he looked past the boy at the woman in the background, hoping for some kind of answer. What he saw was an affectionate smile and warm eyes, all focused on the impossibility that was the ANBU in his lap. Catching his look, Yuugao slowly raised her hand and signed.

"_Meet my new boyfriend: Naruto."_


End file.
